Note: I wrote this article when I was 22. It is unedited and untouched from its date of creation.

I am 22 years old but sometimes I feel as if I am much older and sometimes I feel like a 10 year old. There are days when I feel like shit and then there are days when I feel like on top of the world. Even though my life has just barely started I have seen somethings and felt some..things which make me think ‘Wow..I don’t think anything else can ever top that!” But it always does because you can never know anything for sure when it comes to life. Sometimes it is as black as coal and sometimes it’s like a diamond under sunshine!! These ups and down, going back and forth, in and out is what keeps us going..some of us embrace it, not always graciously but we do, we bitch we moan we stand still for a time we absorb the waves of melancholia and deal with plethora of emotions which overcome us but we move forward. Eventually. Then there are some of us who give up.

Recently I came across a new group of individuals, lets call them ‘time-travellers’ just because. The time travellers are those people who want go back in time. Those who want reverse all the things which have happened to them and back to an age when they felt nothing much complex…

I surf on Facebook and Twitter and Buzzfeed, etc. and see a lot of stories and go through somebody else’s experiences for hours at a time…many of these times I come across a certain image or a quote or a GIF that will say ‘I wish I could become a kid again!’, ‘What wouldn’t I give to forget everything and get my childhood back..’ or what about this one ‘When I was a kid I wanted to grow up and now I want to be a kid.’

What is this? Is it some kind of wishful thinking or are they really serious and if given the chance and the technology, would they really let go of their experiences and go back to being a blissfully ignorant child?

I, for one, do not ever want to go back to my childhood however great it has been. Because being an adult has taught me so much! About life, about people and I would never give that up just so that I can go back and forth to school and study about people who lived their lives magnificently and left behind their legacies!!

Being an adult has got people to look at me differently. I am no longer told to go out and play whenever a serious discussion is in progress. I am no longer treated as a kid whose sole purpose of existence seems to be attending school.

Whatever years I have and still am experiencing as a young adult have been so rich and they have taught me more than any teacher can possibly do! Some years have been downright cruel on me but I still cherish them and would never want to forget all those moments when I learned about myself and others!

Heartbreaks, longing, greed, envy, lust, friendship, love, loyalty, melancholia.. are something so pristine its a crime to let it all go!! Would you really want to go back to childhood and forget about the time when you first kissed your partner? Or the first time when your pet slept in your arms? Or the first time you worked on a part time job and got your first salary? Would you really let go of moments like these to become a kid again?

For me, life is L.I.F.E (Like I Fucking Expected) its full of surprises, full of things which make you go ‘whoaaa!’, its every bit as good and unpredictable as I always imagine and I love it!!

I love every bit of it.

Aishwarya Dikshit.

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